"The hills are alive, with the sound of music" ♪ ♫ ♬ ... ☹ oh no... no Silent Night ☹.
「搬到鄉下享受安靜」可能享受不到，特別在農業區。 "Moving to the countryside to get some peace and quiet" could backfire, especially in farm areas: 二手音 secondhand noise.
The real me 真的我蒙著耳朵， 因雖然把錢花光了了搬到（台灣，世界人口密度最高國之一，的）鄉下， 仍得不到安靜。 covering his ears. You see Dan blew all his dough to move to the countryside (however of Taiwan, almost highest population density country on earth) thinking that he could get some peace and quiet, but instead got radios, bird-clearing rockets, kareoke, hunters' and their dogs and rifles, 24-hour radios to scare monkeys away from crops, smudge pots (smoke from fire to prevent cold damage to crops), also of course weed whipper motor noise and far floating pesticide odor. 收音機、 嚇鳥炮竹、 卡拉ＯＫ、 獵狗、人、槍、 防寒煙、 割草機嗡、 趕猴喇叭廿四小時， 另難免的割草機聲、 農藥味遠飄。
Asking neighbors to cooperate doesn't always work. 拜託鄰居效率有限。
搬上山不久頭頂又出現一條國際航線。 Not long after moving to the hills, an international air route even appeared over my head.
有的人覺得 「到山上高唱卡拉ＯＫ」很棒， 但他們看不到的幾公里內的鄰居不見得也想欣賞。 There are folks who think it's great to go to the country and sing kareoke. However, their invisible neighbors for kilometers around don't necessarily wish to share the experience.
順便提， 為什麼台灣的學校都弄擴音系統， 「某某同學，請到某某室」何必同時通知周圍兩公里？ 校鐘亦同。 另見全國校鐘移室內計劃。 此可用基金鼓勵學校把鐘搬回室內…
By the way, in Taiwan, schools often have bells and loudspeakers pointing outwards, so the surrounding community must share in each day's internal affairs. Perhaps a foundation could fund a program to get those bells moved back indoors...
以下針對個別噪音來源提供可能改善辦法。 當然若能送設備給鄰居， 效果更大。 Below I attempt to address solutions to some items. Of course if one can provide the equipment to the neighbors, this might better facilitate the solution.
易改善的但不具改善合作功德心為最頭痛。 Easily improved noise problems where alas a lack of cooperative spirit exists are the worst.
往往是放在工寮插電， 開很大聲， 為了一整公頃地走到那兒， 聽到那兒。 問題是後邊五百公頃的人被迫跟著聽。
Usually a radio is placed in a shack, to provide coverage for e.g., one hectare. However, this forces those people on the 500 hectares beyond to also listen along.
關鍵是不要用長程喇叭解決短程的問題。 裝充電電池收音機放在搬運車上等離果園內工作地點很近， 或放在口袋就好。 甚怕固定插座及喇叭， 需音量大自己才聽見， 導致無辜者必跟者聽！
The key is long range speakers should not be used to solve a short range problem. A radio containing rechargeable batteries can be placed on a cart near ones work site in the orchard, or in ones pocket... works great. The worst solution is radios or speakers using fixed position sockets. They must often be turned up very loud in order to be heard at the desired position, which of course forces other innocent people in the area to "listen along".
尋找來源， 能將手上收音機調至同一台， 以聲速三秒一公里， 估距離。 到現場確定是同一台， 以免找無辜。 （同節目由聯播網出現於各台亦加秒差！） 另有的高功率、有趣台逐戶同聽。 亦有人換台「以為」就不再干擾人。
To determine the source, one can tune into the same station with one's pocket radio, and use speed of sound, 3 seconds per kilometer, to estimate the distance of the delay. Make sure it is the same station when you visit the source, to avoid bothering other parties. (Also note some programs a broadcast via networks over several stations, each with their own internal delay, skewing the times!) Also note the trend of everybody liking the same (strong, fun) station. Also some people even say "I now am listening to a different station. I wasn't sure if the new station also bothered you"!
（可見這樣在乎， 我們就忙很多年。） 一般的人太忙自己的事， 不太會注意周圍的噪音， 不像我們較會發呆的人。
(One can see, with this level of concern, one will be busy for years. Why not just give up and head for the hills... oops that's where we already are. Or move back to the city and do something interesting to take one's mind off...) Average folks don't pay that much attention to surrounding noise pollution, they are too busy with their own business, as compared to us more empty headed types.
One can indeed listen clearer in every corner of the farm as compared to when one just hangs the radio in the shack. One can also change stations, etc.
可試提供口袋型收音機配充電電池、 充電器。 （並非插耳機的隨身聽， 耳機無必要！） 亦能掛樹上。
Try providing a pocket radio, with rechargeable batteries and charger. (Note we are not talking about a "walkman" with earphones. Earphones are not needed!)
的確， 掛個（用充電電池）收音機在旁邊樹上， 連 ＡＭ 調幅台可聽好久免怕一移動大小聲不一。
Indeed, hanging a (rechargeable) battery powered radio (just) a few meters away in a tree one can even listen to AM stations without worrying about reception changing while walking.
2007年: 買一箱正牌口袋式收音機，及一箱正牌充電器與電池，送人家。 收音機手工搭配相等長度之軟式線狀天線， 絕緣皮剝掉， 再綁上原調頻 ＦＭ 收縮直天線處， 聽調頻台則免伸天線而導致行走不方便。 加上本地推廣觀光手冊以強調大家營造觀光環境。
Buy boxes of brand name quality pocket radios and chargers and batteries, as gifts. For FM band listening there is no need for the user to extend the antenna making pocket use inconvenient. We merely need to attach an equally long length of flexible wire, skin removed at the contact point, to the compacted antenna's end! Also bring the local tourism brochure, mentioning that we want to make a environment suitable to tourism.
民宿、觀光農業業者不樂見客人因噪音搖頭、嚇跑。 Home stay and tourism agriculture operators would not be happy to see guests not coming back due to noise.
還有部份老人， 自己已重聽， 把音量轉得更大。 And then there's the older listeners, already hard of hearing. So they have to turn the volume up even more. 莫大助聽器。 The largest hearing aid ever.
2004.11.8 回家發現於五百公尺遠山頭設兩支各六十瓦特喇叭廿四小時全開， 如宣傳車停在門口一樣。 I returned home to find on a hilltop 500 meters away, two loudspeakers, each 60 watts, at full blast, 24 hours a day. Like an announcement truck parked at one's door.
還好允許我換成數支臉孔大的扁喇叭又退後坡， 另加定時器晚間切掉，因夜間無猴。 Fortunately they allowed me to replace them with many face sized (20cm) flat speakers, further back behind the hill, with a timer to turn them off for extra measure, as monkeys are diurnal.
今已改採下述電籬笆 Now they use an electric fence, mentioned below.
不幸， 果實成熟期間， 聲音可能是農民最經濟防猴法。
Unfortunately, when fruits are ripe, sound might be the most economical monkey scaring method for farmers.
聽說今有如猴子穿紅外線電子鞭炮則響， 聽起來很進步，惟希望晚上自動關閉， 萬一有搖動樹枝等等斷光線… I hear there is now a system where when a monkey breaks an infrared beam, and electronic firecracker sounds. Sounds like progress, but I just hope it can shut itself down at night, as perhaps swaying tree branches etc. might block the beam...
2007年:一般農民快發現喇叭對猴無長效， 轉採黑蘭花棚布牆， 內或藏電線。 衛星圖例。 Actually most farmers soon realize the long term ineffectiveness of radios upon monkeys, and use instead walls of black plastic cloth usually with electric wires beneath. Satellite image example. 相片 Photo.
惟若園是租的， 地主、 果農雙方各立籬笆意願不高， 可能只請換串小喇叭… Alas if the orchard is rented, the owner and the renter don't have much incentive in investing in a fence. In this case one can only rely on replacement with a string of smaller speakers.
農民說嚇鳥炮竹效果不大… Farmers say such noises have little effect. Maybe they can try 替代方法 alternatives.
以趕白天的鳥與猴， 農民有時用一枝香綁幾枝鞭炮。 惟若時間沒把握， 可能一直爆整夜，叫醒鄰居。 Farmers sometimes use a few firecrackers wrapped at intervals along a stick of incense to scare birds and monkeys of the daytime. But if not timed right, this can end up exploding through the night, wakening neighbors. 爆後，閃光已過，若也無濃煙則已無法辨釋從哪理。 The flash is gone before one can look, so one can't tell where the problem occurred unless there is enough smoke.
連白天有人放比一般鞭炮百倍火藥的某國慶似炮種。 均本頁常提距離比例問題， 乾脆整房炸掉為遠間一蒼蠅。 Even in the daytime some people use some super firecracker with hundreds times more gunpowder than regular firecrackers, and resulting negative shock wave or whatever. Just like many items on this page, it is all a scale of distance / proportions. Why don't they just dynamite their whole house just to kill a fly in a far room.
此超炮唯一好處是白天免一直盯著等哪裡有閃光， 而能「聽」到事後跑出來看那兒有屋子大白煙雲， 實地調查， 地上炮殼， 就找到問題鄰居了。 The one upside of this super firework in the daytime is one needn't keep their head trained on the potential area looking for the flash (if indeed it isn't blocked by a tree). One need only observe where nearby is there a house-sized giant cloud of white smoke to pin point the problem neighbor. Upon arriving in the potential area look for spent bomb tubes etc.
另參爆竹煙火管理條例。 See also Firework and Firecracker Management Act... 惟恐都會通過，不 違法。 But oh no, they probably will all pass the test... no violation found.
諾伊斯聲學之家； 投資好像不少。 還有耳罩… 當然戴上後也聽不到鄰居叫您、 蛇等等… Looks like a major investment. Also trying hearing protection muffs... upon which one of course cannot then hear e.g., neighbors calling your name, snakes etc. ...
天氣越冷， 聲音傳得越清晰， 加上大自然能蓋的聲音， 如蟋蟀， 也減少。 Note: as weather gets colder, sounds transmit more clearly. Also natural masking sounds, e.g., crickets, decrease.
出太陽氣流往上，路具自然屏障效應。 When the sun comes out rising air currents create somewhat of an isolating barrier effect, an acoustic shadow.
難道無法令？ 有但是為都市寫， 而非安靜鄉下。 可請當地環保局噪音課或警察勸導， 但若真的要測量可能僅確定其合法地位。
Aren't there some noise control laws? Yes, but they were written for the city, not quiet countryside. Any more than asking the environmental or police authorities to informally ask the person to cooperate might end up in a survey that only confirms the legal status of the noise.
拿分貝計測， 都市可以， 鄉下不行， 因法規定測試位址， 報案人位置， 或來源人使用範圍加一米等等往往很大等等… 故建議走勸導途徑而非由法律…
Using a decibel meter will never solve the problem, as the laws require a surveying position of that of the incident reporter, or the boundary of the land of the noise producing source + 1 meter. That might work in the city, but in the country with such large distances... Thus it is always best to attempt to plead with the noise producing person, instead of attempting any legal settlement...
再強調， （我記得）依現行法規， 不能拿分貝計揮揮在其喇叭「前面」「某某距離」…。 必先退後至其地籍圖上之界線始取樣。 路中取樣先見地籍圖路是否屬私人。 因鄉下筆筆土地之闊故引進公權力很可能適得其反， 更鞏固其就地合法…一輩子
To repeat, in the countryside, one cannot just wave a noise meter at a "certain distance" in "front" of speakers. One must first step back to the boundary of the property, as shown on a cadastral map. Note often mountain roads run over private land. Therefore trying to bring in law enforcement might only just reinforce the permanent legality of the perpetrator.
故不建議走法律途徑… 也不建議走不法律途徑… Therefore I do not recommend legal routes... nor illegal routes...
若要修法， 取樣點應改採離音源本身一米。 可避免業者將音源越挪到其土地裡面， 其合法能危害之範圍越大。 若不方便抵達該一米處仍得逆算其一米 dbA 值… If there are going to change the law, they should make the survey collection point one meter away from the noise source itself. That way the owner cannot just move the source further inside his property to cause a larger and larger area to be affected but still within legal levels. If it is inconvenient to survey at the exact noise source, we can still compute the one meter level using other points.
採 "|____(|)", "|----(|)", 得知相同音量離被害人相同距離， 從非法變成合法， 只要把音源更挪地界裡面。 可說現行法律只幫助大地主。 Using "|____(|)", "|----(|)", we can see how the exact same noise at the exact same distance from the victims, first illegal becomes legal as we move the origin further inside the property. So one might say the current law merely favors large landlords.
好像需要很多鄰居的合作才有辦法過日子。 Seems like one needs the cooperation of many neighbors to be able to go from day to day.
「組織性」宗教樂於擴音「分享」。 Just like organized crime, "organized religion" just can't resist "sharing" via loudspeakers... 差點令人素食再也吃不太下。 Almost makes a vegan give up on vegetables.
Acoustic ecology, urban birds, ovenbird noise.
鄰居固定狗、雞叫能快習慣，獵狗則不。 部份固定航線亦然。 Stationary (neighbors', not hunters') dogs, chicken calls are easy to get used to, as are even some air routes overhead.
可惜我於美國郊外長大， 若於台灣長大大概不受影響。 Alas, I was raised in the semi-comfy USA suburbs (EVanston, ILlinois.). If I grew up in Taiwan, I probably would not be affected.
以上種種壓力易引發憂鬱症。 All the tension mentioned above could easily provoke depression.
耳罩比耳塞舒適。 Protective headsets as the kind construction workers use are more comfortable than earplugs.
可試只罩單耳， 或許此與左右腦有關。 至少仍聽得見鄰居叫您名字。 One can experiment with just blocking one ear. Has something to do with brain hemispheres. At least one can still hear neighbors calling one's name.
"People differed dramatically in their ability to keep irrelevant items out of awareness." [Ref]
2011/12/8: 也有鄰居被隔壁吵， 花一萬元弄擴音器吵回去， 可怕 "arms race". One neighbor couldn't handle the other's noise so spent NT$10000 on a public address speaker system to blast back. Crazy.
友人說想搬鄉下種有機蔬菜， 哈！ 還是留在都市天天與友活動好。 A friend asked me "I want to move to the countryside and grow organic vegetables!" Ha -- stick to the city, tons of pals to hang out with every night.
百位鄰居全精神狀況佳之可能性多大？ What are the chances that each and every one of 100 neighbors are "playing with a full deck" mentally?
慢慢會盼望下雨天、深夜、颱風天， 以免噪音者上山。 停電日視為國定假日。 衛星雲圖小小雲朝著我們方向充滿了希望…唉。
One ends up hoping for rainy days, to keep noisy farmer neighbors from coming to their farms. The deeper the night the better. Typhoons best. Electric power outage days like national holidays. Happiness upon seeing the smallest approaching cloud on the satellite weather map.
試製 個人噪音 Google™ 地圖 personal noise map attempt (for English remove ".tw" , names romanized to "protect the innocent".)
網友說 「這樣把音樂播送出去， 不會有智慧財產權的問題嗎？」！ A web pal commented, "With loudspeaker playing music publicly like that, aren't there some intellectual property rights implications?"!
逐年精神賠償判決時有所聞， 剪報給給您惡鄰居。 Often the news has court decisions of monetary reparations for each year of psychological damages -- give your nasty neighbors some newspaper clippings.
Silence is golden. Pee-wee Herman: Shhhhhh
鄉下必須注意如蛇等小聲音， 噪音簡直危險！ In the countryside one has to be alert to little sounds, e.g., snakes. Thus we see noise pollution is dangerous!
噪音犯應送修環保課。 They ought to send noise offenders to environment education class.
2013/9 My Mom says
Wow, Danny, you write so well! I love your description of "life in the country" -- I appreciate your funniness and your natural dry humor and your facetious but polite description of the neighbors' practices. This piece is better than a lot of writing in "witty" selections in the New Yorker magazine.
搬鄉下者另注意 Other items of concern for those moving to the country.
There are some pesticides that stink for days or at each rain begin stinking again. Perhaps the neighbor can try a different pesticide.
P.S., 鄉下每日燒的東西也不少（煙多）。 The amount of burning in the countryside is not small (lot of smoke).
勒鴿鳥網必須請警方根除， 以免除惡棍徘徊。 Pigeon ransoming bird nets must be eliminated with police assistance, to get rid of criminals loitering.
不讓獵人來， 他們會破壞你的東西。 If you don't allow hunters in, they will vandalize your property.
獵人何不狗脖加ＧＰＳ領， 免得到處叫尋？ Why don't the hunters give their dogs GPS collars so they wouldn't get lost and need to go around calling after them?
Last modified: 2013-12-01 13:14:24 +0800